The boy he didn't know
by Fishy Smell
Summary: That day on the train changed Draco Malfoy’s life, and now he’s trying to understand what. Draco's POV MM Now beta'ed.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

_The boy he didn't know  
Chapter I_

_27 September_

_I don't know why I still bother. Why do I care? I'm not supposed to.  
I'm supposed to be a cold, heartless bastard. Well you can't say that I have failed totally.  
Any person who met me would get that impression. A cold- hearted bastard.  
I can't blame them._

_As long as a can remember I've been trained never to show my real self.  
And as the eager little child, I had learned quickly. And at the age of eleven I had formed myself a mask to hide my emotions. Only to please father of course._

_From that day, almost seven years ago, my mask had become a part of me.  
It had never failed me, not even once.  
That is until the beginning of this school year._

_Since my parents had died in the war, nobody was waving me off at King's Cross station. So when it was time for the train to leave, I quickly stepped inside and started to search for Crabbe and Goyle._

_But after having searched almost the whole train without any luck, I collapsed in a compartment which seemed empty._

_However it wasn't. A person in a black hooded robe sat in the corner of the small compartment almost not visible because of the shadow of the wall._

_My first thought was to leave, but I decided against it since I didn't know if I could find an emptier place to sit in. So I sat down carefully on the seat opposite the hooded figure.  
He didn't seem to notice me at first, so I took my time to examine him._

_Judging by the size, it was probably a guy, but I wasn't really sure since he/she was hugging his/her knees. But I decided that it was a guy.  
We sat there in silence for a while, until I heard a little sob coming from him.  
Surprised I looked back at him; because I had been looking out of the window, and once again heard a small sob._

_I didn't know what to do. He still didn't notice me, and now he was sitting here crying.  
Then I did something extremely un-Malfoyish._

_"Are you alright?" I asked in a concerned voice.  
He almost lifted from his seat in surprise, and choked on his own spit. I'd probably laugh if the circumstances were different._

_But if I thought I was going get some sort of explanation to why he was crying, I was disappointed._

_He only seemed to draw his legs tighter to his body and pressed himself even more into the corner._

_This was not the reaction I expected.  
So I tenderly reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder – all thoughts of the Malfoy rules gone._

_He instantly raised his head and stared at me, watery emerald eyes met silver.  
"Potter?" I almost screamed as I jumped away from him._

_But the only response was a little whisper:  
"Please"._

_Please? What was that supposed to mean? Here was I standing in a compartment with a sobbing Harry Potter. And with an empty mind I carefully asked:"Why are you crying?"_

_He only shook his head._

_I don't know why I did it, but for some reason I sat down beside him and carefully draped my arm around him. First he seemed to tense, but then he slowly raised his head and once again our eyes met. He studied me for several seconds. Then he closed his eyes as he slowly put his head on my shoulder._

_If I had been thinking clearly I would have probably never allowed him to put his head on my shoulder. Hell, if I had been thinking clearly I'd have never been in this position from the beginning. But I hadn't been thinking clearly._

_So there I was, my arm around Harry Potter, who was now crying on my shoulder.  
I couldn't think clearly, I couldn't think at all. So when I was sitting there beside him, absolutely no thoughts running through my head, I slowly started running my hand through his hair in a soothing manner._

_I don't know how long we sat like that, all I know is that suddenly the train started to slow down and I still hadn't changed to my Hogwarts robes.  
Potter seemed to notice it, too._

_"You should probably change to your robes," he said in a whisper.  
"Yeah," I whispered back. But I didn't get up._

_We continued just sitting there, my arm around him, his head on my shoulder, though he was no longer crying._

_Then the train stopped, and everybody started to move to the exits.  
Slowly he lifted his head from my shoulder and I removed my arm from around him just as slowly. Then we both rose from our seats and as he carefully took his things, I started to look for my robe._

_He moved to the compartment door, but instead of opening it, he turned around:  
"Draco…"_

_Startled, I turned around. He used my first name. He had never done that before.  
A small smile was on his lips. The first smile he'd ever directed towards me. And then…  
"Thank you"._

_And with that he opened the door and started to head to the exit.  
I didn't move. I just kept staring at the place where Harry had just stood.  
Still not thinking clearly I started to collect my things and then walked out of the compartment and towards the exit._

_There were scarcely any people left in the train so I didn't need to elbow myself through the crowd.  
As soon as I got off the train I started to look for a carriage, and when my gaze swept over the carriages I suddenly saw Potter, Granger and Weasley._

_As if he could feel my gaze on him he turned around and our eyes locked once again.  
Then to my utter surprise he raised his hand and motioned for me to come over.  
So I started heading towards him with a confused expression on my face._

_"What Potter?" I asked, but without my usual drawl. No, I had a normal tone. A tone I barely ever used._

_Granger and Weasley turned around at the sound of my voice. Granger looked suspicious at my tone, while Weasley only looked angry._

_"What do you want, Malfoy?" the little Weasel spat._

_I ignored him and turned my attention back to Potter. Who asked:  
"Have you found a carriage to sit in yet?"  
Granger was now looking wide-eyed at Potter while Weasley only looked confused._

_"No, I haven't," I answered. "It seems like most of them are full".  
He only nodded. Then…  
"Would you like to join us?"_

_Again I just stared at him.  
Weasley and Granger were also looking at him. Only they were looking at him as if he just told them he'd join You-Know-Who._

_Potter was looking expectantly at me, obviously waiting for an answer.  
Then something unbelievable happened._

_I smiled. A genuine smile, the one that actually reached my eyes._

_"I'd love to… Harry."  
And with that he smiled back at me, reached out his hand, took my hand and led me into the carriage._

_Leaving his two friends to stand outside.  
Granger with her mouth hanging open.  
And Weasley lying on the ground. Out cold._

_DM_

Author:  
This is my first fan fiction please say what you think of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter II

30 September

Why am I such a coward? I shouldn't be. I wasn't raised that way. I thought the day you invited me into that carriage, was the day my life was about to change into something better. Did it? No. It became worse.

We didn't talk at all during the short trip to Hogwarts. I don't really know what I expected. Maybe I thought you would put your head on my shoulder, as you had done on the train. Maybe I thought that you were going to hold my hand. I know I wanted you to.

Maybe I thought you would at least fucking talk to me! But you didn't. Well, I suppose that it wasn't your entire fault; I didn't start a conversation either.

But I know for sure that Weasley's presence didn't make things less awkward. As soon as Granger came out of her shock state she buried her nose in a book.  
Hogwarts a History. Surprise, surprise.

However since she was reading she didn't make any sound, so I didn't really mind her presence. But Weasley, Merlin he was driving me nuts! I mean, come on, a normal person does not snore that loud! Oh, and by the way, who snores being unconscious? Exactly, no one!  
So I decided to blame the awkward situation on the Weasel.

When we stopped near Hogwarts you and Granger had to practically drag the now half-awakened Weasel out of the carriage, leaving me there alone.

So with a heavy sigh of disappointment I stepped out of the carriage as well and almost immediately spotted Blaise alongside with Crabbe and Goyle.

I made my way over to them.

"Hey mate!" Blaise greeted me as he slapped my back friendly.  
"Why weren't you with us on the train?" he asked then.  
"I couldn't find you," I simply answered with a tone that clearly said that I didn't want to explain further. And of course Blaise didn't pry.

"Whatever you say Drake".  
And with that we started to make our way towards the Great Hall, Crabbe and Goyle trailing behind us.

As soon as everybody found the place to sit, the Sorting Ceremony began. I was zoning out only clapping absent-mindedly when someone was sorted into Slytherin.

My gaze started to wander over the Ravenclaw table, then over to Gryffindor table, where my gaze stopped, or more exactly stopped at you.

You were sitting there, hands in your lap, your eyes downcast. Looking like you weren't paying attention either. I can't blame you, the Sorting is always boring.

I wished you'd look at me, a second would be enough. Just a brief glance at my direction, only to assure me that the moment we shared on the train was real.  
But your eyes stayed downcast. And I was left in doubt.

DM

TBC

A/N:  
Well what do you think?  
It's very short I know but I don't think it was that bad… Right?  
Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter III

2 October

I can't believe I'm doing this. It's killing me, eating me from inside.  
I've always known that I'm an evil git, many people tell me so, but this almost takes the price. I can't stop picking at you, tormenting you, killing you. Well, not really ending your life physically. No, I'm killing you psychically.

How do I know that? Well, that's easy. I'm observing you, always. Every time I make some unnecessesary remark on your life I can see a part of you die. Every time I make some stupid comment about your dead parents I can see some of the light in your eyes fade away. And as your eyes are fading, I can feel some of my own light disappearing with it.  
Due to this, a new feeling has made its way into my cold heart – guilt.

I couldn't understand that new feeling at first.

I couldn't understand that stab in my heart every time you looked at me with your wet eyes, silently begging me to stop killing you. But I couldn't. Why? Because I was hurt. A Malfoy, hurt? Yeah right, and Longbottom got an O in Potions.

I abandoned every Malfoy rule for you that day on the train, the day that changed my life.  
And what was my reward? You refused to look at me, you still do.

Well, you look at me as I insult you, but the pain in your eyes makes me wonder if it's really worth it.

So it was about then when I realized that the new feeling in my heart was indeed guilt. Still I couldn't stop killing you because every time I saw you, hurt would flare up in my chest, and since a Malfoy isn't supposed to feel hurt, I was ´forced´ to punish you.  
But Merlin, it was killing me. It still is.

Then something happened.

One late Tuesday night I was strolling along the corridors of Hogwarts, not really caring in which direction my feet were taking me.

Only one thing on my mind, No, scratch that.  
Only one person on my mind. Guess who?

So when I was mentally beating myself up for doing so, it didn't occur to me that I was heading towards the Astronomy Tower, at least not until I was standing under the hatch. I was taken aback: I didn't realize that I had wandered off so far.

But instead of going back to the dungeons, I carefully, in order to not make any sound, pushed the hatch open.

The chilly air hit me like an ice bucket and I gave an involuntary shudder as I climbed up onto the roof.

I had forgotten how breathtaking the view was and was stunned by its beauty. Quietly, as if any sound would disturb the peace, I walked over to the edge.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as a chilling wind was gently caressing my face, and slowly exhaled when it substituted.

A small sound disturbed my inner peace and irritated I turned around. The sight that greeted me made my heart skip a beat: at the other side of the tower, dangerously close to the edge, you were standing.

_  
Fear gripped my heart as I saw you swaying lightly in the wind, and I had to fight the urge to run over and drag you away from the edge, drag you away from the danger. _

I didn't dare to speak either, since you would probably be caught by surprise and might fall off the roof.

Panic spread through my body as I was frantically trying to think of a way to get you away from the edge.

"It's beautiful, don't you think?" you asked quietly, your eyes never leaving the sky.

Caught by surprise, I only managed a soft "Yeah".  
Carefully I took a tender step towards you: "Why are you here, Harry?"

With a forced laugh you answered: "What happened to Potter?"

I guess I deserved that after all I had done to you, but still, I thought something had changed… I guess not.  
"I could go back calling you Potter if you like," I answered, dreading your response.

"Yes, please do so".

Your response hit me like a fist, knocking the air out of me.

_I know I shouldn't ask, but I couldn't help it: "Why?" _

"Because it's less personal." I didn't know what to say, so I simply repeated my earlier question: "Why are you here Ha-Potter?"

You smiled sadly. "Waiting," you said quietly.

"For what?"

"The sunrise," you answered this time with a genuine smile on your lips.

"The sun won't come up for another couple of hours," I stated.

"I know," was your simple answer.

I took a few steps forward and sat down beside you, legs hanging over the edge.  
"Why do you want to look at the sunrise?" I asked looking up at you.

"I won't tell you that," you answered, your eyes still not leaving the sky.

"Why not?"

"It's too personal". A small frown graced your face and told me not to pry. I didn't.

We sat there; well, I sat, side by side. I think I fell asleep a couple of times but I'm not really sure. I don't know why I didn't return to my dorm, I just knew that I couldn't leave you.

When the first sunrays could be seen at the east my eyes were so heavy that I could barely keep them open.

You, on the other hand, never even sat down. No, you stood there beside me looking at the sky with a content little smile on your lips.

When the first sunrays reached your face my heart stopped beating, or maybe it started beating, anyway I was deeply affected.

You had your eyes closed; face totally relaxed and drawing deep breaths through your mouth. Your cheeks were slightly pink from the chilly wind and your raven locks were a mess. Beautiful.

But as soon as the sun had 'left' the ground you turned around, walked over to the hatch and with one graceful motion opened it and climbed down, closing it with a soft 'thud'.

Leaving me alone, with the still rising sun as my only company.

_DM_

TBC

A/N: So… What do you think? This is the longest chapter I've ever written (and it's not that long!)  
I' m thinking about maybe writing from Harry's POV, but I'm not really sure, could it work or should I continue to write from Draco's?  
Please review


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter IV

25 October

In the past few weeks I have found myself up in the Astronomy Tower every single night. And every night when I push the hatch open I can see you stand there. You're always standing there, facing the place where I know the sun will rise, swaying lightly in the wind, face turned upwards. And as every other night, my breath is stolen from me.

I think we have some silent agreement; I come up there, see you standing there and sit down beside you. I tried to talk in the beginning but I was only able to get a few words out of you. But at least you didn't ignore me. I'm thankful for that.

I do not talk to you anymore, but I don't feel ignored. No, I think we have a comfortable silence between us now.

But the silence between us is only temporary. Well not for you, but for me. I still taunt you in the hallways, the Great Hall, the library, and the school grounds, everywhere but the Astronomy Tower. I have no idea why you didn't tell me to fuck off, but I know that I'm grateful that you didn't.

It's the same routine every night. We look at the sunrise together, you with that content smile that lit up your whole face, and I, watching you with the same expression. Then, when the sun is up, you leave.

I always have the same thoughts when you leave me up there. "I'm sorry".  
I apologize for the taunts, tricks, sneers and insults I know I will plague you with later.

I know that I have no parents to tell me what to do anymore; I don't have my father breathing down my neck wherever I go. No. It's my image that forces me to continue my father's noble work.  
And afraid of losing my respect, I obey.

But this night, just a few hours back, the small life I had, came crashing down on me.

In the early morning I, as usual, walked up to the Astronomy Tower. I pushed the hatch open, climbed up and turned to the place I knew you would be. Except you weren't there.

I know exactly what I should have done. I should have shrugged and walked back to the dungeons. However I didn't. No, instead I started running towards the Gryffindor Tower, don't ask me what I was thinking, I do not know. I only know that I knew that I had to see you.

I never made it to the Gryffindor Tower. Or maybe I did, but if so I didn't know that was it. Because after a half an hour running around in panic, I realized that I had no idea of where I was. So while feeling incredible stupid for overreacting I walked back to the dungeons, all the way trying to assure myself that you were perfectly fine in your dormitory. That you had finally overcome your need to see the sunrise and wouldn't need to see it every morning. All the way pretending my chest didn't constrict at the thought of never seeing the first sunrays hit your face again.

DM

TBC

A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner and I promise that next chapter will come soon.  
This chapter was actually supposed to be longer but since I haven't updated in so long I thought it would be best to split it up.  
I've also decided to not write from Harry's POV I think it will be for the best if I stick to Draco's POV.  
I apologize for my English, hopefully you could understand.

A few of you have asked me what's my first language is, and for your information it's Swedish.

Celece – thank you so much for your review, you understand Harry so well and I'm glad that you told me so.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter V

_27 October _

I've never been so down in my whole life. Empty. Hollow.  
I haven't seen you at the Astronomy Tower for two days now, and I don't know what to do.  
For almost a month now I've been meeting you at the Tower, silently watching the sunrise with you.

I've realized that those nights meant the world to me. I've never even considered that you wouldn't be there. Not even once.

Though I still see you in the halls it doesn't make things any easier to bear, quite the opposite actually.

This day was no difference from the day before. I walk from class to class, always trying to see you, always trying to get an eye contact with you. And just as the day before, you don't see me.

It breaks my heart. Again.

My mind was all foggy the whole day. The hope of seeing you was the only thing on my mind. Well, no…

The hope of you seeing me.

That was the only thing I had. Hope.

But it's crushed now.

I was wandering aimlessly along the halls of Hogwarts, while the last sunrays were still touching the ground. Not that I was aware of it then. I can't say that I was aware of anything at all at that moment.

I had just finished my last classes for the day, and after I left my bag in the dungeons, my legs started wandering.

That's how I found myself in one of many towers of Hogwarts.

I faintly remember walking towards one of the windows, leaning my elbows on the sill and lightly leaning out.

By drawing a deep breath I remember feeling a little better. But only a little.

It really was a beautiful day: the sky was blue and the sun was still shining. It was a perfect day, but to me, to me nothing's perfect.

I shifted my gaze from the sky to the grounds, and what I saw was the opposite of perfect.

When I first saw you, the world seemed a little brighter. You were walking towards the castle; I guess you'd been with Hagrid. I never did understand what was so special about him. There are a lot of things that I don't understand. But Hagrid, you seem to like him and that reason is enough for me to believe he's a good man.

I remember my smile dying on my lips when the redhead walked up to you, the female redhead.

As soon as she caught up with you, she was all over you, and the worst part was that you didn't seem to mind that much. Quite the opposite actually.

Then she pressed her lips to yours, and my whole world crumbled.

I couldn't move. I don't know if I could breathe. And I know that I couldn't see anything, because when I finally gathered the courage to raise my head again, you were gone.

I almost threw myself out of the window that evening; I was leaning out, thinking of what was left to live for.

My parents were dead. My "friends" were idiots. And you, you don't see me.

If I died, who would miss me? Would anyone notice me gone? Would anybody ask: "Where is that blond guy?" or "Where is the ferret?"

Would you notice me gone? Would you just live your life as before, except now with the redhead?

Would you celebrate my death? Celebrate that the last Malfoy heir was finally dead?

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I decided not to jump.

I didn't give up, I won't give up. I didn't in the tower and I won't here in my dormitory.

I will not break.

I won't give you that satisfaction.

DM

TBC

Author: I know that I haven't updated in a long while, but my computer have been on vacation, with out my permission, so I haven't been able to update.

Well anyway I hope you liked this chapter cuz I had some problems with it. But thankfully my lovely friend Clalyan helped me out a lot (you practically gave me the whole chapter Clalyan) So that is why I'm now saying a million "thank you"'s to Clalyan for your never fading inspiration, help, support, threats, insults, cheering and all that other stuff.  
You make my day, thank you Clalyan.

Please Review.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter VI

30 October

I started ignoring you three days ago.  
I haven't really seen you for five days. Five miserable days.

I don't sleep very well anymore, too many thoughts swirling in the chaos of my mind.  
Pictures of your face, bathing in the first sunrays of the day, are the only thing I can see when I close my eyes.

I don't know if I should be grateful for those pictures or if I should be devastated.  
Grateful because I got to see such peace on your beautiful face. Devastated because I'll never see any emotions so pure on your face again, and my heart is breaking a little bit more every time I think about it.

But if I have to choose, I'd rather have those images stuck to my mind rather than not have them at all. Anything to see you. The real you, not the happy mask. It kind of reminds me of myself… Funny…

I don't know how long I will be able to keep this behaviour up. I don't know if I have succeeded to keep it up at all. My heart was never really in it.

I know I swore to myself that I would ignore you from now on. Three days ago.

And still whenever I enter a room, my gaze is always looking for a mop of raven hair. But as soon as I find it, I curse myself, once again turning my gaze towards the floor.  
Because if I look a little closer I know that I'll see that long red hair, sprawled over your shoulder as the redhead leans her head against it.

I can't bear to see it anymore. And still when I sit down in my new seat at the back of every class, I can't help but look.

I think other Slytherins have noticed my new behaviour. Not that I care. I don't really care about many things anymore. Strange. But not really.

But they don't really care, they never do. Why should they? They, just as me, were brought up that way. The only difference if that they learned, obeyed and succeeded in learning the ways of a Slytherin. Me? The one time so perfect Slytherin, the one everybody saw up to, I am now not more than a mere flaw in the Malfoy family.

I can barely stand being around them anymore, they always remind me of how I am supposed to act. And since I can't act the right way, I try to be around them as little as possible.

This is why I was aimlessly walking along some lonesome corridor of the castle.  
I think I'm doing it on purpose, every time I round a corner I hold my breath. Only to exhale with disappointment when I find nothing but another empty hallway.

But tonight, when I held my breath, I didn't find an empty hallway.

I found you.

DM

TBC

Author:

So the 6th chapter is finished, any good? I know that it wasn't any action in it, but that is for the next chapter. So please review and I'll probably update faster smile

And I have to say thank you to all my reviewers, seriously one review make my day, so now I have many happy days to live. Thank you so much guys!

What Love Is - OMG thank you so much for your reviews! And please, feel free to write as much as you like, I love long pointless reviews! And isn't it weird thas moast people doesn't care fore the sunrises or the sunsets? I love them. Well the point is thank you so much, it was because of your reviews I updated this soon, Thank you so much


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter VII

October 31

I can't sleep.  
I need to sleep: my first class starts in about three hours. But I can barely close my eyes. Afraid of seeing that horrible scene once again, so I won't close them. I know I'll have to get some sleep eventually but for now I refuse to.

I found you in that lonely corridor; I have no idea of where it was since I wasn't paying attention to where my feet were carrying me.

I just stood there frozen, watching you but not really seeing you.

I remember having a flashback right there and then. You sitting in that empty compartment on the train, legs pressed against your chest, small sobs shaking your body.

The sight that met me was almost identical to the one on the train, the scene that I'm not so sure about anymore. I think I dreamed it.

I was snapped out of my trance when I heard that quiet little sob, a sob very much like the one in my dream. Sniffing slightly you pressed your legs tighter to your body, protecting yourself from the world.

I felt empty, as if I had a big hole in my chest. A hole, invisible for the eye to see, but making my whole body ache, making my body so heavy that every step I took towards you felt like the biggest effort in the world.

Still I managed to take the few steps that were needed to stand right beside you.

That was when you noticed me. Your head snapped up as I took the final step and wet emerald eyes met my silver ones.

I drew a ragged breath, deeply affected by the swirling emotions reflected in your eyes. I can't describe exactly what I saw in your eyes that night and even if I could… I couldn't.

I opened my mouth to say something. Maybe I was about to tell you that everything would be alright. Perhaps I was about to ask you if you were alright, just as I had done on the train… Or as I had done in my dream.

But before I had had a chance to form any words you spoke in a voice so broken that I felt my own throat become thick.

"Please go away". Choking on a sob your next words were barely a whisper: "Please… Leave me alone".

And with those words another part of my once whole heart disappeared in the new darkness surrounding it.

But I didn't move. I couldn't. My legs refused to obey me, not that I put so much effort in demanding them to move.

Slowly, so as not to scare you, or maybe because any fast movement would tear my body in half from the pain inside, I sat down beside you.

Ignoring me, or not noticing me, you didn't remove your head from your arms.

I moved a little closer and brought one of my arms around your shoulder, feeling your whole fragile body tremor at the contact.

Shaking, you started to repeat your previous words over and over again.

"Please go away, please go away. Leave me alone, please, please…"

Struggling to get away from me you started to rise to your feet, but instead of letting you I drew my arm tighter around you and dragged you in between the V of my legs, looking up at the ceiling all the time. Afraid of looking directly at you.

Hugging you now with both my arms I pulled your head under my chin. Your sobs increasing, you started banging your fist against my chest. All the time choking out "please".

Face still turned towards the ceiling, eyes tightly shut and my throat hurting every time I swallowed, I slowly began swaying our bodies from side to side.

Your broken whispers were ringing in my ears as the first tear rolled down my cheek.

TBC

Author:

So… tell me what you thought of this chapter. I updated pretty fast didn't I? The next chapter will actually continue directly from the last line, that's why Draco hasn't signed _DM _at the end.

And if you're confused by the dates, he met Harry in the corridor at night, and now he's writing about it after 00:00 so it's a new day.

And thank you to all my reviewers, it really makes me update faster

And I guess I have to say a special thanks to Clalyan too (or else she will kill me)

So thank you my deer reviewers and Clalyan I like you more than candy.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter VIII

Burying my face in your messy hair, clutching your body even tighter to mine, all the emotions hidden inside me poured out and I cried.

My shirt was wet from your tears, but I didn't notice, eyes closed, body numb.

Your whispers died down and instead of banging your fist against my chest you gripped the fabric of my shirt. I didn't notice.

I don't know how long we sat like that, comforting each other in a lonely hallway in the middle of the night.

But I know that when your tears decreased and your heartbeat returned to normal you became tense.

And I noticed it.

My face still buried in you hair I could hear you take some deep ragged breaths and feel the shiver that went through your small frame.

One small word, just something that came out with your breath, one small word with so many questions.

"Why?"

I couldn't answer. I can't answer.

"I..." – swallowing heavy – "I don't know."

One of my hands found its way into your hair, lightly starting to caress the raven locks that my eyes always seek instead of the Snitch.

"Harry I – "

"Don't call me Harry". Your voice suddenly steady, cold and emotionless.

You started to rise again, and I didn't stop you. Untangling yourself from my limp arms you stood up. Just standing there in front of my once proud form, but now only a crumbled shell.

Still refusing to look at your face my gaze was at your shoes, even if my eyes had been tearless I still wouldn't be able to focus.

One single drop of water fell from above, landing on the floor in front of your feet and I had something to focus on. A drop of water.

Another one fell down.

I closed my eyes, took at deep breath and raised my head. Not ready to face you, but not having the courage not to.

Fighting my inner battle, I had my head turned upwards, eyes still closed as I tried to hold my eyes closed.

I opened them slowly, focused and looked at the place your face had been just seconds ago.  
But now the only thing left was the solid stone at the opposite wall.

Gazing at the floor again, trying hard to breathe I focused my whole world on the two drops of water on the floor, the two drops of your tears.

DM

TBC

Author: There's really not much action in these chapters, but don't worry it'll change.

Thanks to all my reviewers and to all who just reads the story.

I hope this chapter cleared up some of the confusion in the last one.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter IX

1 November

I finally fell asleep last night, I have no idea when but I remember waking up. Breathing hard, untangling myself from my sheets and stepping into the bathroom, all in a haze.

It never crossed my mind then, but my roommates weren't anywhere to be seen.

Peeling off my sweaty pyjamas I stepped into the shower, wishing the water would wash away the lingering nightmares. Wishing but knowing that they would haunt me forever.

Closing my eyes briefly as I stood under the stray of water I could see the expression on your face, the face I didn't have the courage to look into, in the real world but haunted me in my dreams, where no eyelids could spare me.

Not lingering in the shower longer than necessary I wrapped myself in a towel and quickly finished the rest of my morning routine.

_  
I was late for Transfiguration. I know that I should have realized that long time before I stepped into the classroom.  
But since my mind is never clear these days, and especially not in the morning, since that's when the nightmares are still fresh, so I didn't snap out of my own world until McGonagall's shrill voice woke me up:  
"Mr. Malfoy! 45 minutes late. I expect more of you, Detention". _

I didn't even react: I was to busy trying not to look for you, who I knew would be in the room.

Still my eyes found your raven hair in between Granger and Weasley.  
My attention slipped.

Weasley leaned in and whispered something to you, snickering as he leaned back.  
Granger glaring slightly as you too snickered a little.

I was surprised when I didn't become jealous; I've always been in the past.

But in that classroom I felt anger, anger towards your friends. Anger towards you.

How could they call themselves your friends when they didn't notice the fake smile upon your lips, your new quiet mood, I didn't get it. Still don't. The way you spoke only when spoken to. How could they not notice?

And anger towards you. Yes, the broken pieces of my heart were still hurting, but for a moment anger mended them.

How could you make such a big effort for them? Desperately trying to not to show them the pain inside you. The pain you hide behind brave smiles and fake laughter.

You try so hard for them. But as for me, you don't give a shit about.

Every time I tried to show you some emotions of my usually cold self, you push me away.  
Not caring about the pieces you tear from my heart with every push.

I just want to know why? Why do you care so much about them, and so little about me?

"Mr. Malfoy, would you please join us?" McGonagall's irritated voice suddenly cut through my anger, replacing it with dread as I saw you standing there by her desk, head bowed.

I walked slowly to the front of the room, looking at the desk, stopping in front of it and waiting for McGonagall to start speaking.

"You have been given detention and I expect you both here at eight o'clock, dismissed".

Surprised I raised my head to look at you, what had you done to get detention, but I only saw your back as you had already turned around and were rapidly making your way out of the room.

I gathered my books quickly and hurried after you, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had finally found the courage to confront you.

But when I had come out of the classroom, you were already gone.

So with a heavy sigh, I made my way towards the dungeons, screaming at myself silently for not being fast enough to catch you. For not daring to be any faster.

DM

TBC

Author:

So the 9th chapter is up, comments? I'll probably update the next chapter soon, but not as fast as I've done recently.

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers, I'll give you all a cookie!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter X

1 November

7:30. I'm supposed to be at the Transfiguration classroom in half an hour. I don't know if I'll make it.

I don't know what to do when I'll meet you there. Should I confront you again? Ignore you? Beg you to tell me what's wrong? I don't have a clue.

Honestly, I don't know if I can confront you again, just to end up even more hurt as you stab me, as you push me towards the edge.

Standing on the edge of my mind, I don't know if I'm ready for that last push. So I won't give you the chance, I'll stay away from you tonight.  
No matter how many pieces of my hear crumbles, no matter how many times you stab me I won't fall off the edge.

I, Draco Malfoy, promise that I will not fall. Not because of you. Not because of anyone.

But I might jump.

It felt like I was in some corny novel. Nervous just because my secret crush was standing at the other side of the door. Reaching out with a shaking hand, just to touch the door, demanded a huge effort. But before being able to close my hand around the door handle, darkness swallowed me.

A corny novel indeed.

But that was what it felt like at the time. Just a novel, something somebody had just written, surely the person had put some great feelings into the characters, making them real. But still it was just a story. Nothing real.

That is my life now. A novel. This wasn't happening, this year at Hogwarts, it was all made up. Because there is no way all this could be happening to me.

Still I was standing in front of McGonagall's classroom, shaking slightly. Cold. Lonely.

And the author didn't stop writing.

Gathering all the courage left, I slowly opened the door and stepped into the room. Not looking at anything but the path before my feet.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, it is about time you join us," the annoyed McGonagall's voice greeted me.

I didn't answer, just stood there waiting for her to tell me what to do. Not what a true Malfoy would have done, but what else could I do? I knew looking at you wasn't an option.

"You are to help Mr. Potter scrub the benches, no magic".

Just nodding in response, earning a frown from McGonagall, I made my way towards you. I hadn't once looked at you, but still I knew where you were, how could I not?

Crouching down by the bucket at your side I took one of the cleaning rags, and moved to the bench which was as far away from you as possible.

Still, it was too close.

It went on like that for a while. You and I scrubbing benches as McGonagall was correcting some essays.

But then, someone stormed into the room, someone that I never thought would be the one to change my situation. My life.

Filch.

Looking slightly mad he almost screamed: "Professor, you must come quickly! This time he has gone too far".

Looking slightly startled, McGonagall rose from her seat and headed to the door,  
telling us that we should continue with our cleaning while she was gone.  
Not waiting for the response she wouldn't get, she left the classroom.

We were just doing that – cleaning.

Everything was flowing just fine. The ache in my heart wasn't too bad, I had got used to it by then. Now it just increased.

But then, the picture of my imaginary reality was crushed.

DM

TBC

Author:Okay maybe that wasn't so nice of me, but next chapter will come tomorrow. I promise!And as another one, it will be continuing directly from were this ended.

Thank you for all those wonderful reviews! I never thought I would get so much response on this one, but I am so not complainingPlease review!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter XI

November 1

I was just about to go back to the bucket, wet the rag and go back to my corner again, just like I had done for the past half an hour. And just as before, I kept my head down. Not looking at you, not once.

I never made it to the bucket. Your small gasp made me freeze on the spot.

I looked up.

No thoughts of darkness, edges or any pain were on my mind anymore as I saw you kneeling on the floor, gasping. Your face wretched up in pain. One hand pressed against your forehead and one on the floor supporting you.

I dropped the rag.

Taking a shuddered breath, I tried to focus my disordered thoughts.  
I had promised not to be any nearer than possible to you tonight. Any night for that matter.  
Knowing that I would fall if I came to close, fall, jump, dive… it was all the same. No difference. Because when it comes to it, it doesn't matter. When it comes to you, nothing does.

That was why I slowly, barely moving in the beginning started to move.  
Towards you. Towards the edge.

Another gasp from you, and I moved faster.  
The classroom was far too big and still far too small. Because I had no idea of what to do when I would reach you. But I did not care. Just as long as I was able to be near you. To be able to help you. You would probably push me away though. But at the moment I myself pushed that thought away.

But as I came nearer, I could discern the quiet mumblings coming from you.

"No…stop…leave me alone…no…" you gasped out as tears were rolling down your cheeks slowly.

I should have got used to it by now. Every time we talk you always say those things: "please leave me alone." Or: "please go away." Different words, same meaning. But I react the same way every time. And it is not a pleasant way.

Throat constricted of suppressed emotions, I kept walking, swallowing the hurt every time you opened your mouth: "Stop…please, stop".

But I didn't. I couldn't.

Kneeling beside you on the floor, I did exactly the same thing as I had done only some days ago.  
I reached out my hand, jerked slightly when you gasped, but kept going.

"Ha – Harry?" choking on my own words as the knot in my throat only kept growing.

"…No…" You started to curl yourself, lying on the floor fully now, one arm wrapped around your legs, keeping them pressed to your chest, the other one still pressed to your forehead.

I couldn't take it, I knew you would shy away from my touch, but at that moment I didn't know who the touching was to comfort: you or me. I still don't but I think it was mostly for me, because you, I don't think I will ever be able to comfort.

Wrapping my arms around you quickly as to not let you get away, I pressed your back against my chest.

I held my breath that moment. I felt all the emotions running through me, for the first time I realized how vulnerable to your words I really was. To put it lightly, it scared me.

But this time, the tears that joined yours were not only the ones of sorrow.

You leaned into my embrace, putting your shoulder against my shoulder, your whole body shivering.  
Just as mine was.

But then you let your hand fall on your lap were your other one was lying since you had let go of your legs.

And as I turned my head to look into you pain-filled face I gasped.

I had heard of it, of course there were rumours. Some said that you woke at night screaming, others said that you had acted crazy during one of Trelawney's classes. But I never thought much about those rumours. Not until now.

Your scar, as visible as ever on your slightly pale skin, was now practically glowing with an angry red colour. The colour of love. The colour of blood. The colour of pain.

Voldemort.

I have never been as scared in my whole life as I was at that moment. I couldn't help you. I could do nothing to ease your pain, and that, that hurt me more than ever.

So with nothing else to do I, as gently and carefully as I could, placed my palm upon the lightning-shaped scar.

As soon as my hand came in contact with the scar you drew a sharp breath and your wet emerald eyes snapped to meet mine.

Terrified, I took my hand back, thinking I might have hurt you. Heart hammering fast in my chest I searched your eyes for any more pain, found it, but not only it. I could clearly see the confusion swirling in those deep emotional eyes.

"Wha– …what d-did you do?" you stuttered, my pain growing as I saw your face constrict in pain once more.

"I am so sorry Harry," I almost sobbed. "I – I didn't mean it". I knew it was a bad excuse but I couldn't think of another one at the moment. How could some words make up to the pain I had made you feel?

"Wh-hat? No. P-put it ba-back". I shook my head wordlessly, refusing to ever hurt him intentionally.

"Please…" Only a breathed whisper, a whisper that reached my ears and made its way into my core.

My arm shaking badly, I did as you told me. How could I not? I would do anything for you. No doubt in my mind.

You did gasp as we came in contact once again, but this time I forced myself not to flinch away.

Only minutes later you stopped crying. I didn't. Silent tears still made its way down my cheeks disappearing in your raven locks that my head was leaned on.

One of your hands made its way to my arm which was wrapped around you, having found my hand you intertwined our fingers squeezing just a little, your silent 'thank you'. I didn't know for what, but I accepted it. The feeling of your hand in mine was above anything I could ever imagine. I smiled though my tears, pressed you tighter to my body and held on tighter to your hand.

"Harry I – "

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter detention is over, return to your dormitories". McGonagall stormed into the classroom not even bothering to look at us as she went toward her desk.

I cursed under my breath, she couldn't have picked a more wrong moment.  
I think you were in shock.  
I moved.

However I, with my whole heart, wish I didn't.

As soon as I shifted, you bolted. Leaping out of my arms you dashed for the door.  
Leaving me alone again. Empty. Alone.

I didn't have time to feel anything, but as I slowly came back to my senses my body started aching. My heart the most.

Slowly as not to break my fragile body I stood up, went out of the classroom and stopped.

I could hear your footsteps echoing in the lonely corridor, taking you away from me.  
To a place where I couldn't follow. I never could follow you, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how hard I still try. I am always a step behind you. Almost reaching you, but as my fingertips touch you I am pushed away. Never reaching you. But I don't give up trying.

Even though, I wish I would.

_DM_

_TBC_

Author:Oh my god, this chapter became so much longer than I had expected. I am so sorry for not updating earlier, I know I promised to do so, but now it's done at least. So I hope it was worth the wait?(reviewreviewreview)

I know some of you are probably confused by this chapter but don not worry, the answers will come later.

I have to say a very big than you to all my reviewers; it means so much to me to know that some of you actually like my story.

And of course I can not forget my friend Clalyan. Honestly I know that I would never have been able to write this without you. You help (I think I can almost say give) me so much with the plot and you have done so much here in these latest chapters. I can not thank you enough.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter XII

_November 2_

_Once again I can not sleep. No surprise really, I am used to it by now, used to it but still so new to the feelings overwhelming me. Suffocating me._

_But what can I do about it? Lie here until I fall asleep from exhaustion? A potion, not likely. I don't want to become addicted. Aimlessly wander along the corridors? What's the use? Run after you when you leave me?_

_I wish._

_But I am too much of a coward to do that. I've always been. I only hide behind my mask. I need it now; I can not deal with these emotions by myself. But it's not like I have a choice, I'll deal. I always do._

_DM_

_November 2_

_The cold wind hit me harder that I expected when I forced that hatch open. Still I welcomed the cold, anything to feel, even if it was the icy wind that forced its way inside my coat until it found my skin and created goosebumps sending a shiver through my whole body._

_The physical pain was nothing compared to my emotional war which was hidden much deeper than my skin. The physical strain on me carried no goosebumps only invisible needles._

_Maybe I shouldn't have gone up the Astronomy Tower; perhaps I should have stayed in my dormitory waiting for sleep to come._

_Still a part of me wanted to go up to the damn tower, wanted to know if it gave any comfort. I did not expect you to be there, not anymore; you must have found another place to watch the sunrise from._

_The last time I was up in the highest part of Hogwarts, the sun had given me no reassurance. Maybe that was not the point. But the thing is, was, that the last time I found myself there I did not watch the sunrise. I was watching your face._

_This time however, the sun was my target. I had to know just what it was that kept you coming back for the sunrise._

_Now when I look back at the pages I have written I still have difficulty to grasp the fact that the drama within my black journal is my life._

_However I was not thinking about that when I made my way over to the edge._

_Of course the thoughts of jumping came to me as I glanced down the tower, but the thoughts of actually doing it never crossed my mind. I kept them at bay._

_To jump, to commit suicide, disappear from this world leaving you behind, the war just in front of you. Face to face with Voldemort, Death Eaters surrounding you. I could not do that. It did not matter that I could do nothing to stop that from happening but… I might help the light side, Dumbledore, you. Just a little._

_I had no idea of what time it was, but there was no light to be seen on the horizon. Just the dark sky filled with twinkling stars. It was beautiful. Calm but at the same time…Lonely, because even if the distance between the stars seemed so small to me there was a huge distance between them for real._

_I will not reflect all the thoughts passing through my mind the hours I stood there, but they all circulated around you. Sometimes I wish I had a Pensieve. But I will not get one. I do not want it. I…I just wish for it._

_It is just that I do not dare to leave my memories behind; I have far too little trust for a can to save my dearest moments._

_It is only that sometimes it all becomes too much and… I can barely take it._

_It was at just that moment, when I was pondering about how to deal, that the hatch came open with a loud 'bang'._

_I don't think that I've ever seen you so surprised._

_Surprise, disbelief, fear and…hope? flashed through your eyes, the last one confusing me but filling me with the same thing. Emotion. Whatever._

_But before I was able to create any reasonable thought out of the turmoil raging through my mind you swallowed audible and your whispered stutter barely reached my ears._

_"Dr – Draco…"_

_TBC_

Author: sorry about the late update, that is if there is someone who acctually reads this. Well if somebody do, please let me know

As you can see Draco haven't signed _DM _at the bottom and that is because the next chapter will countinue directly from where this ended.

A big thanks to Clalyan who've helped me so much with ideas to this fic and i did write a longer comment to you before but somehow it dissapeared but you've read it anyway:P


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Thank you **svirelka** for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know  
Chapter XIII

_November 2_

_If I even for a second believed that the moment we shared on the train changed my world… Then this night changed my universe._

_You probably panicked when you saw me standing there, your eyes were wild. Not by madness, but by emotions. If there's any difference. I'm not so sure anymore. _

_Stuttering my name like that and I… I just – nothing. _

_I felt nothing. Just indifference. Because every time I get my hopes up, that maybe you'll show yourself just a little, I'm left with nothing._

_You looked so crushed standing there, swaying in the wind, like you'd fall if it became too strong. You looked so fragile… And I felt nothing. _

_I don't for one second believe that I stopped caring, no, I think it was my way of coping. _

_Fooling myself into not caring, hiding it deep inside me. Stupid I know, but what could I do? I know that it would've eaten me from the inside sooner or later. It doesn't matter now anyway. And besides, it wasn't like I could control it either. _

"_Potter," I nodded, feeling nothing as you lowered your gaze to the ground._

"_I just…" You looked so uncertain. "Wh-what are you doing here?"_

"_Same as you I suppose."_

_That got a reaction. Your head whipped up so fast that I could almost hear the 'snap'. _

"_No." _

_If you'd whispered that little word, letting it out in a breath, as almost every other word you say, but those two letters… that wasn't the boy I thought I knew._

_Confused, worried and maybe a little… scared, I swallowed and asked in a voice that I hoped sounded normal, "You're not here to look at the sunrise?"_

_Your eyes lost its hardness, but your body remained tense and I was just waiting for you to bolt, preparing myself for the emotions you would leave behind you. _

_That's why I was totally unprepared when you suddenly walked past me, not sparing me a glance, staring at the black sky, ignoring the look of total disbelief and surprise that grazed my face._

_Turning around I saw you standing on the spot you always stood, as close to the edge as you possibly could without falling. _

_Swallowing audibly I slowly moved to sit beside your standing form, praying that I was the only one that could hear my frantic beating heart. _

_We stayed like that for a long time, or it might've just felt that way, but I don't think so, the sky had started to light up, though not revealing the sun yet, when you took a deep breath, letting it go with a drawn out sigh. _

"_I knew it was a lie."_

_Slowly raising my head to look at your face I gazed upon you silently for a moment before in a soft voice asking, "What are you talking about?" _

_You swallowed._

"_I knew that you couldn't be here for the same reason as I."_

_Your voice was so calm, steady and confident. _

_Mine however, wasn't._

_Answering in a tight voice I managed to bring forth some words._

"_Aren't you here to look at the sunrise?" Not realizing that I was repeating my earlier unanswered question. _

_And for the first time since you walked past me, you lowered your gaze and looked right into my eyes, showing so much that I pulled back a little from the sheer emotions swimming in your emeralds._

_Giving me a sad smile before your eyes diverted from mine, ignoring my desperate attempt to make you stay, you transferred your gaze towards the ground and the smile you held almost turned grim. _

_I stopped breathing._

"_No…"_

"_Harr –"_

"_It was never really about the sunrise –" You interrupted my whisper, I'm not even sure you heard me. "– It was about the edge."_

_And I didn't understand, not the slightest and still, my heart stopped beating. _

TBC

Author: Oh my, this took so much longer than I though it would. I hope you guys haven't given up on me, because I will finish this fic! It was the first one I ever started on, and mark my words "it will be compleated!"

Anyway, it's nearing it's end now, I'm thinking another chapter and then a epilogue, but nothing's decided yet. But I do have the next chapter in my head, so it shouldn't take that long time to finish it. (can't promise anything, but as things are, i almost can)

Huge thanks to all readers, please leave a comment if you liked it, reviews warm my heart

Love in heaps to Schnookums AKA Clalyan, you're the plot queen, I'd never been able to do this chapter or the next one, or the privious one adn so on and so forth.


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